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...a staff.

And not the shepherd kind.

To be 20 again. Not for keeps--just for a weekend. To repeat this one amazing weekend I spent in Mendocino with my then-boyfriend.

Sorry to leave a wistful comment rather than a funny one. Winter just seems to lend itself more to wist than wit. No wonder The Daily Show took a break.

What I really want for Christmas is...

the first day of summer.

A penis.

There are so many reasons why. I will give you ONE. Apparently, when you have a penis, you really don't care about all the crap that is left all over the house when you come in from the snow or the puddles of snow melt trailing down the hall.

what i really want for christmas is...
someone else to pack the bags and remember the florida set of gear, because we do have a 50% chance of fitting that side trip into the holiday visit to the midwest. All in one free checked bag per person, so that equals three bags for four- one under two- woohoo.

...plural marriage.

I could be sledding with the kids while the second wife is inside making warm yummy treats for us to fill our bellies with. And then after we have both cleaned and fed and gotten all the kids to bed we could stay up all night long and talk over a bottle of wine.

But wait, maybe I can just get my hubby to do all these things...?

My two year old and five year old to only show their sweetheart moments, which are many and no longer act honery like their father...I know that cannot be from my gene pool!

1. Cross country skis
2. Cross country ski instructor

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