ReadySetMom

Potty training: a retrospective

We made it. The boy is wearing his undies (well, sometimes his sister's undies) except at bedtime. I no longer have to ask every 5 minutes whether he needs to go. We haven't had an accident in days, and he is totally confident on the toilet (sitting down, that is -- there will be no more standing up). Potty training my son has been far more difficult and lengthy than training my daughter. As I look back on this period of uncertainty, I find I may have learned a few things that might help other sad souls facing the potty challenge:

Sometimes they just aren't ready. It took three days to train my daughter and three months for my boy. We started with the potty chair, went through the whole "do not touch my penis" saga, and tried naked time (note: when doing naked time outdoors it is not advisable to let them play in the kiddie swimming pool while potty training). He might have needed all of that warming-up time, or maybe he would have been ready if I'd just waited a couple of months.

Sometimes you just have to stay home. I was talking to a friend whose son keeps wetting himself even though he poops confidently on the toilet. Her biggest problem, she says, is that she needs to get out of the house every day (for sanity) and can't devote extended periods of time to keeping on top of his bathroom needs. I spent a whole week at home with the kids, asking and asking if he needed the potty, and pretty soon he was telling me when he needed to go. I was a mess, but he was happy (and that's all that matters, right?).

Sometimes there will be accidents. Once I accepted this fact I was better able to deal with it. I kept a plastic bag with a change of clothes and some wipes handy at all times, never leaving the house without it. If he had an accident (which he didn't outside the house) I was prepared. And when he did have an accident, we just cleaned it up without making him feel bad about it. Well, maybe a little bad.

There! One task down, 453 to go. Thanks, everyone, for all of your great advice and hand holding! Next up: teaching my daughter how to balance my checkbook.

He gives a whole new meaning to the term "little pisser"

The potty training continues, and every day is a super fun adventure! I never really liked that sisal rug anyway. And, honestly, if he's not bothered by taking a dump in his underpants, why should I be? I think we all just need to loosen up a little.

Last night my husband and I had a date, and my mom babysat. Now, something happens when my kids are with my mom. It's like they become completely different children. Brilliant, well-adjusted children. So in her care, three things happened that have never happened before: 1) My son informs her that he has to go to the bathroom. 2) He poops on the toilet. 3) He stands up to pee. I have never even presented the standing-up position as an option, but apparently my mom has. Wow. Really? This I've got to see.

The first words out of his mouth this morning are, "Do you know what I did I went poop on the potty and I need to go potty and I want to stand up." Yes! Lead the way, my boy. He proudly lifts up the seat, pulls out his little wanker and lets loose. I can see that his penis is pointing down into the toilet, but I'm hearing it spray against the wall. It's like someone turned on the hose too hard, and now the sprinkler head is flipping around wildly in the grass. I lunge for the penis, but even I can't get it under control. How many holes does this thing have? If it's pointing into the toilet but hitting the wall, maybe we need to point it toward the wall so it hits the toilet? No, no. The force of the stream ricochets off the wall so that we are now covered in pee. Finally, he finishes and we're both a little traumatized by the whole thing. I try to make light of it, because I don't want to discourage him. "How fun was that!" We strip off our clothes, burn them, and never speak of it again.

I believe we are making progress.

A follow-up on my children...

...because I know you are all *dying* to find out. Actually, a few people have asked me recently how a couple of issues I mentioned have turned out, so I thought I would share:

My daughter's trip to Florida: In June I wrote about my daughter's fear of leaving me behind on her trip to Florida with my mom. About two days after she said, "I'm not going," she changed her mind. (It might have been due to a mention of her brother going instead of her, but who can tell?) She stuck to her guns and got more and more excited about the trip as it got closer. There was no fear. I had been so busy worrying that she would back out at the last minute that I didn't have time to think about my fear of flying...until we got to the airport to say good-bye. Then I got a little freaked, but maintained a brave face. She and my mom had a fantastic time visiting my grandmother. They went swimming every day, went to the beach and played lots of Uno. I talked to her on the phone every night and she was not one bit homesick. My mom said she never mentioned us, which was just fine with me (ungrateful wench). Knowing that she was happy made me miss her less as well (that sounds awful, but it was really reassuring). The trip enabled my mom and my daughter to have their very own adventure; something that they shared exclusively, which I hope she remembers forever. And, hoo boy, I got so much done around the house!

My son's aversion to his penis: In a post that created a little bit of tension in my household, I mentioned that my biggest challenge to potty-training my son was his refusal to touch or have anyone else touch his penis. I am happy to announce that he now touches himself uninhibitedly. Sniff. I could not be more proud. Let me state for the record that his father played absolutely no role in this development. And no pee-pee tongs were needed. While he isn't potty-trained yet (my son, not my husband), he's made huge strides and I feel confident he'll get there before preschool starts in September. Oh. God. Please.

Educational Kids Books

We just got finished reading The Gas we Pass for pre-nap storytime. My kids love that book. It amazes me just how many books there are to help us deal with uncomfortable subjects. Don't forget the classic Everybody Poops (which we recently gave to Heather's son as he embarks on the joyful journey of potty training). We read I'm a Big Sister and I Used to be the Baby over and over when we welcomed our second daughter into the world. The possibilities really are limitless for this kind of educational children's book. If I wasn't so busy blogging all the time, here's a few I would write:

• Oops! I didn't mean to toss my cookies
• Mommy's ready for her big girl bed!
  

Do you think there's a mass market for kids who throw up frequently (as does my preschooler)? Or for kids reluctant to leave the family bed? I've found a ton of books about moving out of a crib into a regular bed -- but nothing about making the transition from the family bed.

My cousin, who teaches kindergarten, would love this one:

• Runners, screamers and pukers: coping with the first day of kindergarten

Just for fun, what about you? What educational children's books are you looking for but haven't found yet?

Potty training for boys and the next great invention

My son turns three in August and will start preschool. He must be potty-trained to attend preschool, so accomplishing this seemingly impossible task is my goal for the summer. I potty-trained my daughter over three days one summer by keeping her naked out in the backyard with the potty chair nearby. So I know it does work, but with my son we have this small issue. His penis. Unlike most boys who can't keep their hands off their members, my son does not like to touch his penis or have anyone else touch it. I'll tell him, "C'mon, touch it. Touch your penis. Go ahead. Touch it!" No can do. So, while he will occasionally go to the bathroom on the potty chair and squeeze his legs together so his penis points downward, he won't sit on the toilet or stand because that would require touching. No touching.

So last night I was out with a group of preschool parents and I was recounting my son's "sensitivity" issue when Renee reminded me that he doesn't like to get his hands messy (he will only eat a grilled cheese sandwich wrapped in a napkin), and maybe he was afraid of peeing on them. Ahhhh, that makes sense. Then she suggested I get him some rubber gloves. So I turned to Lisa to hear her ideas, and she wondered if I could rig up some little tongs -- I believe she called them pee-pee tongs -- that he could use to hold his penis. Then I ordered my second margarita.

This morning, after I downed half a bottle of Advil, I had a heart-to-heart with my husband. "I think you need to touch your penis more when you're around our son. He needs to see that it's normal." He gave me the same look that I must give him when he comes home from the grocery store with a three pound bag of frozen tater tots. Total disbelief. "You're going to write about this, aren't you?" "Noooooo. I'm simply concerned that the child will never touch himself, never be potty-trained and NEVER GO TO PRESCHOOL." So, let's just say that at this point I'm seriously thinking about those tongs.

Help me.

Potty Training: Taking that great leap of faith

Do you remember the heady feeling the first time you rode your bike without training wheels? That's kind of how I feel today. My toddler - who has taken a very active interest in potty training - has been wearing underpants all day today. We even went to the grocery store without a change of clothing! Talk about crazy.

So far she's doing great. She's showing all the signs of being ready to potty train. And she has been for a while. It's amazing how much younger she is than when my first reached this readiness stage - thank goodness for the powerful role modeling of her big sister. The main roadblock was me. I really wasn't sure if I was ready to take on this big project. Taking lots of breaks in our typical whirlwind days to ask if she needs to go potty, to visit all the public restrooms in SW Portland, to be ready with a change of clothes for the inevitable accidents. But I am ready to stop buying crates of diapers and pullups at Costco. I am ready to stop buying the companion crate of diaper wipes. I am ready to stop emptying the diaper pail. So here we are - riding without training wheels (or training pants for that matter) and so far it's an exciting ride!

What tricks of the trade did you use to help your kids toilet train?