ReadySetMom

Tips, advice and secrets for expectant parents

I had the pleasure of meeting an expectant couple a few weekends ago. They wanted to know if I had any secret "power user" tips. I assume they considered me a successful parent, in that I've kept TWO CHILDREN ALIVE for several years now (one for 6.5 and one for 4). So I guess that means something. Kind of like the signs at Costco that say "93 days accident free!"

Sadly, my mind was drawing a blank. The only thing I could come up with was to not buy everything new. It's hard to resist the siren call of Babies R Us when you are a first-timer and all the cool baby bling written up about in magazines. It's overwhelming, but you start to think you need everything. And it must be absolutely germ-free and to have never touched another baby before. We were remodeling our house when we were expecting our first, so my goal was to buy everything second-hand as cheaply as I could get it. Of course, I checked for recalls/safety issues. But the garage sales and hand-me-downs from friends, family and neighbors were my saving grace. By the time our second came along, we were power craigslist users. But that's all I could think of. Maybe I've just blocked out the rest of that whole baby-hood period??

What are your favorite tips and secrets to share with first-time expectant parents? It can be about stuff. It can be about parenting. Please, share away...

Celeb baby photo shoots: ready for your closeup?

Today's Oregonian featured a wire story from the Chicago Tribune about how hot, hot, hot!! celebrity baby photo shoots are. Yes, I will admit to being taken in by the pull of celebrity news. But seeing these spreads is the kind of thing that makes me laugh so hard I'm at risk of spraying my morning coffee out my nose. I had the benefit of a dentist appointment to see baby Suri in Vanity Fair, back when that baby was hot, hot, hot. Then a hair appointment for my kids when J.Lo's twins got their spread in People. Did you see it? Chandeliers. Silks! Extravagance and abundance in line with what you'd expect of royalty. You could pay my mortgage with the money they spent on just ONE of their matched, turbo-charged strollers.

But the thing that really made me risk squirting beverages out my nose was the way the moms looked in these photos. Forget about the dads here. Do you remember your childbirth experiences? Do you? I do. And it was NOT PRETTY. Early photos of me as a "beaming proud mama" captured my double-chin from all the remaining baby weight. I'd be sporting maternity wear and an extremely unflattering, unsupportive nursing bra. That was stained and soaked from all the oozing breast milk. Bags under my eyes from lack of sleep. No amount of Hollywood lighting, fancy dresses or bling could disguise how I truly looked in this moment. I repeat: NOT PRETTY.

How about you in those early baby days? All baubles and bling? Or aching boobs and bleary eyes?

Baby gear: what do you recommend?

I remember wandering through Babies 'R Us for the first time. My belly was huge and my expression was glazed. I couldn't believe all of the gear that was available (and it all seemed soooo important for baby development and parental sanity). New-mom-to-be Ingrid writes:

I would love some recommendations on baby gear! I'll be having my first child (we don't know the sex) later this summer and I'm overwhelmed with all of the stuff out there for babies. Our house is SMALL and has very little storage, so I am tryign to figure out what gear we really need. I'd love some opinions on baby swings, bouncy chairs, activity gyms, doorway bouncers, exersaucers, portable cribs, all of that BIG stuff! Which ones did you use a lot, which ones did you use hardly at all? I'm not so concerned about brands, I just want to get one or two things that we'll use.

I think that we had just about everything you mentioned at one time or another, Ingrid. The trouble is, babies seem to react differently to different gear. My daughter hated the swing; my son would only sleep in the swing. My daughter loved the exersaucer; my son, not so much. I guess the things I used most were a bouncy chair and a pack-n-play. The bouncy chair doesn't take up too much room, and the pack-n-play breaks down when you aren't using it.

What about everyone else? What baby gear have you used the most?

Fun for mom and babies that helps at Reed College

Emily, a thesis student at Reed College needs the help of moms with babies 11-13 months old. Here's the scoop:

I'm a thesis student at Reed College working with Dr. Rebecca Brand's Cognitive Development Project. I believe in the fall we posted in your blog about our studies and it was a great way to meet some new moms and kids in the Portland area, many of whom came to our lab and had a fun time.

I'm studying how people learn about objects for my thesis project, and I need moms and babies between 11-13 months to come to our playroom in SE Portland. The study consists of one visit, usually less than an hour, in which moms demonstrate how to use some new baby-safe toys to their infant. We videotape the interaction and study it later to learn more about how people understand action and objects. Everything is confidential, moms stay with their babies the whole time and receive a cute baby t-shirt for participation. Babies usually have a good time because they get to play with new, exciting toys and moms have fun too because they get to do something different and learn some interesting things about their infants.

Can you help? Contact Emily by phone at 503-517-7440 or email.

Cloth diapers: a little help here!

My kids are out of diapers, so it's easy for me to look back and think, "gosh, I wish I would have tried cloth." I've seen the bounty of cloth diapers out there with those cute little covers, and I know that lots and lots of people do cloth. But at the time it seemed way beyond me. Maybe it's not so hard? Mattie is wondering the same:

Hey guys, I hope you can help. I'm pregnant with my first and trying to figure out the whole cloth versus disposable diaper question. I've seen a lot of different types of cloth diapers, and I know it's gotten easier to use cloth from when we were kids, but what is the reality? I don't want to be spending huge amounts of time dealing with diapers. Do they leak? How do you handle the poopie diapers, as in, how do you get the poop off of the diaper? How many more loads of laundry does it add each week? What brands do you like and where did you get them? Did you use a service? Sorry for the questions, but before I make the investment I really want to understand what I'm getting in to. I hate the idea of throwing big plastic diapers into the landfill, so this is the main reason I'm considering cloth. Thanks for any thoughts and suggestions.

Enjoy this special time!

When our first daughter was born, it seemed every congratulatory card we received contained the phrase "enjoy this special time." Like most new parents (after that initial adrenaline burst of "OH MY GOSH! WE'VE CREATED A PERSON! IT'S AS IF WE INVENTED LIFE ITSELF!!") we were flabbergasted by how hard it was to spend every waking minute with an infant who demanded feedings and diaper changes, protested just about everything with an ear-piercing wail, slept far too little and not nearly long enough. Special time? What in the hell were those people talking about?

In retrospect, I think I get it. They were talking about how fleeting the baby years are. Quickly followed by the fleeting toddler years, then the darling (and also fleeting) elementary school years. You get the picture. Before you know it, they're borrowing the car keys and heading off to college.

I'm glad to report that we've found a sweet routine, now that both my kids are in separate schools. My 3-year-old is a big preschool girl, so proud to have her own school and place in the world (not just being dragged around to all her big sister's classes any more). My 5-year-old seems to be navigating all the changes of being a kindergartner, and having soccer after school twice a week. And I am enjoying the separate special time I have with each of them. Hearing about my big girl's day at kindergarten after she gets home on the bus. Stopping at the bakery to buy my little girl a cookie, or reading a few extra naptime stories just because I like the funny faces she makes imitating the pictures. Finally, I seem to be striking a nice balance between the time and attention I have for each of my kids. And with that balance comes a desire to savor the special times a bit more.

Now I just need to figure out how to find a little more "me" time. Darnit, is that the school bus I hear already? Where did the time go??

Infant napping strategies?

Shelby writes:

I've got a 9-month old son who has never really been on a napping schedule. He can go the entire day without a nap, and then sleep 10-12 hours straight through the night. He will fall asleep in the car or stroller and sleep for about 2 hours, but if I try to put him down in his crib for a nap he just screams and screams. I've tried letting him scream it out, but he absolutely won't calm down. Maybe he just doesn't need a nap? I know I could use a break! Does anyone have any ideas for getting an infant to nap? I just wonder if he'll ever settle down into a nap routine at this point. Thanks for any suggestions!

I remember a book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" that people used to rave about -- the bible of sleep strategies for babies. That might be worth checking into. Have you talked to your pediatrician? Anyone else have experience with a resistant napper?