Wanting to be there for those priceless moments

I don't miss much.

I'm not saying that to brag about my intellectual abilities or my keen observation skills. What I mean is that I'm a stay-at-home mom, so when it comes to my kids, I don't miss much. Class holiday celebrations and school field trips. First steps, first bike rides, first recitals. Performances, practices, parties. I know I'm very fortunate that I can be with my kids this much. I'm not superwoman, but if I can be there for the big and small moments in my kids' young lives, I will.

Which is why I was feeling a little out of sorts last Saturday, when our school's annual hoedown was being held. Last year, I reckon my son had more fun than any other cowpoke in the barn. (Actually, the gym, but there were hay bales.) He wore his cowboy vest from Halloween and won the prize for best costume. He square danced for an hour straight. Who knew a kid who had spent the first eight years of his life in San Francisco could have so much fun at a hoedown in Portland?

This year I was planning to watch both kids do si do, until I learned that a childhood friend's father had passed away and the funeral was scheduled for Saturday. Instead, my husband took the kids to the hoedown, where they wore their cowboy hats and square danced for an hour straight.

There was no question that I would attend the funeral, but the fact that I was going to miss seeing my two kids at the hoedown gave me some angst. It wasn't like I was missing a high school graduation or championship sports event, I know. Nevertheless, I raced back to school after the funeral and caught the last 10 minutes.

Is that silly or what? Has being a stay-at-home mom made me hypervigilant about being in attendance at every little event? Do you also suffer from don't-want-to-miss-a-minute mania?

Comments

[Renee]

Yes, I really want to be there for just about everything. I find myself volunteering for things, then wondering how in the world I'm going to find the time and wondering what in the heck I was thinking!! Yesterday, DH & I went to a Blazers game for the first time together this year. The Blazers were... well, their usual. Fairly disappointing. Anyway, I spent much of the time wondering how old the little girl was behind us, how old she might of been at her first game, wondering if it's too loud for our kids to enjoy, wondering what they might be doing while I was at the game... I'm certainly not supermom either, but a part of my heart walks around outside my body since my kids were born, and it's carried with each of them. That's why I don't want to miss anything.

[Heather]

Marianne, you may have coined a new term -- hoedown angst. I feel your pain. Although I guess I've gotten a bit better about letting go of some of these potential precious moments. My husband misses a lot of them, but he's also experienced a lot just by taking them places without me. I hear all sorts of stories of their adventures together, and I'm just glad they get to spend quality time with him. I love watching them at swimming lessons or occasionally spying on them at recess -- but I also treasure the moments when I'm away from them. They are still young enough to have a whole childhood worth of 'firsts' still to come (I hope).

[jill]

I was in the other room when my second born first rolled over. My husband saw it but I missed it. I witnessed all the firsts of my 1st born and was really sad not to see my second born roll over for the first time. I felt a bit silly to be feeling that way, but that is how I felt.