Exhaustion after a long, hard day of kindergarten

Today was the 44th day of kindergarten. (I know this because every morning my daughter's full-day kindergarten class gets a morning message with this number on it.) She loves school. She loves everything about it -- her teacher, learning to read and write, music and p.e. class, playing basketball at recess, the occasional hot lunch, new friends, her bus driver -- everything. But...most days she's a wreck when she gets home. I ask her a question and she breaks down in tears. She's crabby, argumentative, emotional and picking fights with her brother -- she is completely exhausted. I thought by now she'd have adjusted, but it's just not happening.

We chose to send her to full-day kindergarten because half-day just seemed too short. She's a driven child -- very type-A, outgoing and just dying to learn everything she can. (And let's be honest, I needed her to be in full-day kindergarten for my sanity.) But is it worth it? I know that parents with kids in half-day kindergarten are just as pleased with how their kids are progressing. I am absolutely thrilled with all that she's learned already -- she's reading, for crying out loud! But these afternoons are painful -- for her, me and my son. By the time my husband gets home, I'm on my second glass of wine and lashing out at the world.

Taking her out of full-day doesn't seem like an option at this point. She'd be heartbroken. Will she adapt, however? I mean, I know she will eventually, but at what cost to the rest of us -- and her own emotional state? Some days I force her to have quiet time and she ALWAYS falls asleep immediately. Of course, then it's harder for her to fall asleep at bedtime. Anyone else experiencing this? Have you lived through it and can reassure me that all will be well in time? There are days when I wished we'd gone with half-day...maybe something for parents of future kindergarteners to consider?

Comments

[Kristin]

My son has had some of the same issues -- I have taken to putting a snack on his desk in his bedroom, and letting him go up and have some alone time (lights on, not in bed) and let him chill out --- holding off on the questions and any planned activities. We have also started putting him down to bed sooner (about 1/2 hour earlier), because I think he is also just really, really tired (sounds like this may be the case for your daughter). This has been helping...I hope it evens out for you!

[lilah]

Some days are worse than others with E. We usually come home and chill out. This includes a movie, a beanbag, and a snack. He zones out for about 30-45 minutes then he is ready for his homework. The idea behind full day kindergarten is to get them used to full time school so that they don't have to go through all of this in first grade. It's hard. It's hard on everybody in the house.

[Kim]

I have several friends that dealt with similar issues you are facing last year for their kinders. When did it get better for the kids? January. So, not too far away. I think there is light at the end of the tunnel! And taking it easy after school like others suggested is a good thing.

[Carol]

We are going through the exact same thing. It's gotten to the point where I'm sometimes driving (ugh!) the 5 blocks to school for pickup because it's so hard to do the walk home without a meltdown. We've been doing the same things suggested in some of the other comments--snack and about 45 minutes of video time right after school, followed by some very mellow playtime until dinner. Usually after dinner she gets a second wind, and we get a good hour or two of cheerfulness until bedtime. I've been saving homework and conversations about school until that time.

I've found myself second-guessing my full-day decision too... I know that it would be very difficult for my daughter to change classes at this point. It takes her a long time to warm up in new situations, and I wouldn't want to pull her from the routines and relationships that she's just now getting comfortable with. Like Kim, I've also heard that January is a big turning point for kids, and I hope that's true!

[Phyllis]

I remember being told by an experienced kindergarten teacher to expect a melt down in the third month of school. The kids have a steep learning curve the first two months and it is exciting but hit a wall the third month. She said not to worry - a lot of the kids go through this, and be patient for another month or so. Someone said January and I remember it was a good month for us too. One last thing, we were enrolled in a half day program. It is just an adjustment time.

[Z]

When my oldest was going through this, he was in a full day kinder program, it was tough on all of us. I knew he wanted to be there but he was just exhausted. So every now and then I would keep him home for the day or take him out of school early, just to help him catch up on sleep, on hanging out with me, his brothers, etc. It made life easier...school is wonderful but exhausting at times. It is true about the January transition. But I also can tell the minute I see my boys after school whether or not they ate enough lunch because that also affects how our afternoons turn out. There is little time to eat it seems.

[Heather]

Thanks, all, for your comments, suggestions and reassurances. Yesterday I let her watch an hour of PBS when she got home, which is something I've never done. I've spent 6 years trying to find alternatives to the TV for my kids, so it was an out-of-the-blue treat for her! She laid her head on the kitchen table, quietly watched Clifford and something else, and was far, far easier to live with afterwards! We talked about her day over dinner, worked on homework afterwards -- the evening had a nice flow to it. I'm sure we'll continue to have good days and bad, but it was great to try something new.

Z -- I hear you on the food bit. The kids have 20 minutes to eat lunch, and no one to make sure they are doing it in a timely fashion. I'm suprised they can even concentrate on school in the afternoons.