Dealing with depression

This can be a hard topic to discuss, so kudos to KT for talking about her struggles with depression. I have a bit to say on the topic, which I'll post in the comments, but first, here's what KT has to say:

Hello. I'm a SAHM to a 2 y.o. girl and live in SE. I don't know if this is appropriate for your site or not, but I'd like to hear whether other moms have dealt with depression. I think I've always had a problem with it, so it is not necessarily post-partum, but maybe that has been a contributing factor. As long as I can remember, I've had on and off periods where I just feel heavy and unable to motivate myself to do things. I talked to my G.P. and O.B. about it, and both thought it was depression. My G.P. gave me a prescription for Prozac before I got pregnant that I never filled, and my O.B. suggested I wait until after my daughter was born to start taking it. I never followed-up because I keep thinking that I can find ways to get over it, but then I get in my "heavy" state (I'm not sure how else to describe it) and just do nothing. I'm definitely not suicidal, nor do I feel like I'm a danger to my daughter. I just don't feel happy, like it's within reach but I just can't get there.

My husband is really supportive and he thinks I should find a therapist to talk to. He's even offered to go with me. Can anyone recommend someone, preferably on the eastside, though I'd probably go anywhere close-in. Has anyone tried any anti-depressants and had good or bad experiences? And has anyone found other ways of successfully managing depression? I know it's hard to talk about, because I have a hard time talking about it. But any suggestions would really be helpful. I read this site because everyone seems so friendly and helpful and respectuful, so thanks for any input you guys can offer!

Comments

[lilah]

I have lived with depression since I was a teen. I have had therapy and meds. I took Prozac with both kids because it is the safest antidepressant for pregnany. I look at it as a chemical imbalance. If I was diabetic, I would take meds. So, I have depression...a chemical imbalance which requires me to be responsible enough to take medication. I am on Well-butrin now which is working well.
Talking with people, friends, or therapists works well for me only if I am taking my medicine. The best way that I have found to get through my days and actually enjoy my kids and husband is to exercise and take my meds. Some people do well with just exercise and therapy. I check in with a therapist every once in a while. I am a SAHM, too. Being isolated is hard, so get out at least once everyday. Go to a park or library. Try to get outside, rain or shine. I am sure that you will figure it out. Your OBGYN should have therapists names on hand. You are not alone. Don't be ashamed to talk about it. Depression is completely misunderstood, that's why people have a hard time sharing their feelings. It just is what it is. It's a fact and you take care of yourself and you will feel better almost everyday. Good Luck.

[Heather]

Hi KT! Generally, it seems, the most important things to discuss are also the hardest. This will probably be long, so bear with me. First off, you are not alone. Lots of people - moms - deal with depression, too. But lots of people don't feel comfortable talking about it. I've dealt with depression my whole adult life and have been on and off anti-depressants for 15 years. I would go "off" because I'd be feeling so great that I didn't think I needed them anymore. And then I'd gradually fall back into that gray zone. I've come to accept the fact that I will probably always be on anti-depressants, which is what my body needs to function happily day-to-day. It is a chemical imbalance, and just like you'd take meds for high cholesterol or high blood pressure, I don't think there's any diffence in treating depression. I take Zoloft and have also taken Prozac, and both have worked wonders. But, different people react differently, so you need to work with your doctor and be really aware of your emotional state when you take them, especially in the beginning. It might take some experimentation with dosages or brands to find the right one.

For me, anti-depressants "level the playing field" -- they keep me on an even-keel so I have the motivation and clear-headedness to see the joy in every day. Sounds corny, but when you've felt so down, you really appreciate the emotional evenness you can feel. In addition, this past year I started exercising on a regular basis, 2-3 times per week. I've never felt so good! But, being on Zoloft enabled me to work up the motivation to exercise. Also, developing a close network of friends to laugh with and commiserate with has helped immensely. Starting this blog, volunteering with the preschool -- all these things give purpose to my life, and ultimately make me (I think) a better parent, wife, friend, person.

OK, getting a little too Oprah here. In the past during a couple of rough patches, I saw a therapist -- Pat Timberlake -- who I loved and can heartily recommend. She's a therapist and naturopathic doctor, 503-236-1366, 1835 SE 50th - right off Hawthorne. She could probably offer natural alternatives to anti-depressants, which is definitely worth considering. I'm going to stop here, and maybe others can share their stories. Please talk to a therapist or your doctor again -- you can take control!

[Heather]

I didn't see Lilah's post until I finished my looong one. We both said many similar things, and I can see myself in her words, too.

[Lisa]

I can echo most of the comments made above. Depression is treatable, and getting help for it can change your life. I can't recommend a therapist, but I've been on Wellbutrin and it's been amazing for me. I also do yoga, which I find helps me stand taller and manage stress. Talk to your doctor again. Taking action, taking control of my depression has been empowering, and my husband and friends and kids have all noticed the difference. More importantly, I've noticed the difference! You can do this!

[KT]

Hi, its KT. I really appreciate your advice and honesty. As I was reading through everyone's comments, I kept thinking, 'yes, this is me.' I've made an appointment with my doctor to talk about medication and a therapist, and already I feel a huge sense of relief that I'm taking steps. Thanks again everyone! It's great to know people are willing to to share their personal journeys to help others.

[Heather L]

I just read this, and thought I'd comment, because I just came out of a depression. I also am a SAHM with two kids, one is 3 and the other is 6 months. I didn't deal with any depression after my first, but I am dealing with it now. I mean, I’ve always had it at times, but it seems to be a little bit stronger right now. I can't say if it is post-partum, but my life has changed significantly after baby #2. I've decided not to go back to work, like I did with my first, and I think that is where my problem starts. I'm pretty social, and being at home can be a little isolating.

I felt like I reached a point where my life was extremely monotonous, and that piled on top of everything else, got me down. First, what I did was I talked about it. I talked about it with my husband, my mother and my closest friends (luckily they seem not to mind listening). Secondly, I reminded myself that it wouldn't last forever, and didn't let it get the best of me. I did things "normally." I didn't necessarily hide from it, or pretend like everything was great to put on a brave front, but I went on with life, again so it wouldn't get the best of me. Third, I took a look at my diet and made some changes (I reduced my intake of refined sugar and caffeine). Fourth, I maintained my exercise routine, and even added some things (e.g. walks with friends WITHOUT THE KIDS).

Now, not to sound too Tom Cruise here, one fact of depression does lie in your intake of certain vitamins, folic acid being one of them. So, increase your intake of leafy greens, and cut out the refined sugar. Also, if you don’t exercise, START! Exercise releases serotonin, which makes you feel good. One other important thing is, if you drink alcohol, STOP! Alcohol as you probably know, is really bad. It is loaded with sugar, which exacerbates the problem. Try those things, and if it doesn’t help, then go see a therapist, and maybe anti-depressants are the way to go for you. I’ve always managed to deal with depression without the pills, but feel strongly about the necessity of them. If you need them, take them. The one complaint I’ve heard that is mentioned here is that you are more even keeled, and stop experiencing the highs that come with the lows, but I think feeling normal is probably better than feeling like crap all the time.

Mostly though, give yourself a break. Depression is a natural way for people to feel. We can’t feel 100% good 100% of the time, or we wouldn’t be human. Take time for yourself. Don’t be a martyr to your kids.

You’ll get through it! Remember, you are not alone!